idk i quess im blogging now because i can slowly feel myself slipping into a depression and i don't understand why .. i just need to vent a little to help me relax and wrap my head around these thoughts ... i'm lonely ... im alone ... im single ... i don't want to be but i am. because SHE doesn't want to "complicate" things & neither do i ... because SHE isn't going on the path i WANT ... no i NEED her to go on to make ME feel better ... idk . just tired of seeing every1 happy & paired up & im alone ... im lonely ...yah know ? < kus i dont . idk im rambling .. i mite be back to finish this ... then again i mite not *shrugs*
Wednesday, March 10, 2010, 6:48 PM
- ventinq.
venting.
uqh i dont even know where to start so this shall be a blog that you prolly wont understand because i dont even understand it... today marks the day of the last time we'll break up because there won't be any making up... there wont be any trying to fix it because im tired of trying... no matter what i do you ALWAYS find a reason to break up with me... specially over the petty things. you say you love me & you asked what happened to the times when you talk about it not fuss and break up. you're a hypocrite... then you dumped me in thee most ignorant way possible you didnt even say it yu just said oh yu just my homie now -- how da fck do THAT qo smfh all over a playful thinq that wasnt even that serious ... makes me think yu've honestly been looking for a reason to get it. treated me like i was SOME bitch even tho this morninq yu was all in my face & then some smfh distance didnt matter this morninq but now all of a sudden it does smfh get the fck . then yu expect me to just all in out be your " friend " like yu didnt just dump me outta nowhere for nothinq how da fck that qo #O_x unlike you i actual put feelinqs into whatever this was -- kus i dont know ... feel like i wasted 4months -- shit wlda been 5 in a few weeks -- of my life smh i swear riqht now i feel as tho i wish i never met yu
Wednesday, February 24, 2010, 1:57 AM
- studs : how 2 do yur qirl riqht
studs: How to sex your qirl riqht
Now i've ran into a few studs that didn't know what they were doing in the bedroom and it made me want to write this blog. [Song playing : bedroom boom - yinq yanq twins)
kuminq soon
Monday, February 15, 2010, 8:34 PM
- chris brown
chris brown - in my zone.
i thnk this is the BEST mixtape of 2010 so far besides "free gucci"
Tuesday, February 9, 2010, 7:17 PM
- tryinq to smile .
& im tryna smile
despite all the tears i've shed...because when i thnk of her i
still smile ...because she can still make me lauqh...i thnk of this ever
endinq & i qet scared...i never wanted anything to last as much as i want this too.
iLOVE this picture because it describes how i feel right now. I'm crying but im trying
so hard to hold it together and smile... every little thing i say i take back ... i apoloqize because i dont want to feel that pain i felt before... i dont want you to end this. blaah.
Wednesday, February 3, 2010, 9:06 PM
- done.
& im done.
done trying to prove myself . done trying to prove that im sorry .
done trying to prove that it will never happen again . done trying to prove
that all i want is you . because i may have cheated but i ALWAYS made it clear
yu were the only one that i wanted . because everyone in the world can see that
i love you ... more than i can say about you . i dont know what else you want me
to do . i get it i really do . maybe you keep bringing it up because secretly you
dont want this ? < just a thought . im done because you said i had a problem with it
but when yu said leave her gone i said fine. w.e yo
Monday, February 1, 2010, 11:05 PM
- hmm think'n
.religion & thouqhts.
.& as the beautiful sounds of the qospel music play in my ears as she sleeps nxt to me...i kldnt help but to drift off into my thoughts the song playing is "i need you now" by smokie norful... *siqh* this song never fails to make me cry EVERYTIME . for years and years i have doubted religion & the so called "facts" but as i grow older i kant help but think what is so wrong with believing ? weather it is real or not... i mean it cant be so bad to believe in a place better than here...we're i can be my happiest... to believe that there is some1 always watching over me & making sure that i always make the best decions . to have someone to talk to when i thnk noone else is listening... because the agony of being alone & the fear of doing things on my own...scare me ? < i want to say . So why is it so wronq to believe that things will get better in the end?... i guess im rambling but it makes sense right ? i sure could use the Lord right now... not another second or another minute... cus i cant take another day... true words , they say God or Jesus understands all the problems we go threw... and that he is always listening to our crys... well if you can hear me Lord im calling you...
this bloq is just qoinq to be a little peek into my head ; my world ; my life ; my days ; my everythinq
try to keep up now :D its a LONG bumpy ride . everythinq on here is kompletely random and sumtimes dont make
sense . for the serious minds i'll try to post some serious blogs just for you quys <3 i model and i LOVE it ; runway is
my passion but music is my L I F E ; sinqer . dancer . quitar player . piano player . < yeaa im just THAT qifted lls . im pansexual
[please dont ask what it means ; thats why they have qooqle). :D well stay tune
